Ladies and gentlemen, our beloved Bollywood has managed to do it again. They have managed to invest crores of rupees into making a movie.

The end result? Utter rot.

The bike has more expressions than him

With a name like Desi Boyz, I honestly did not expect much while going in for the movie. The question was about how bad it would be. Well, it lived up, or rather down to my expectations of being worse than pathetic.

The most important aspect of a movie I believe is the storyline. In this case, Akshay (Jerry) and John (Nick) are friends from college who lose their jobs due to recession. With John’s marriage around the corner and Akshay being responsible for the care of his orphaned nephew, they see no way out of things. Enter Sanjay Dutt, the King of Love – a glorified pimp, who offers them a chance to become escort boys for his agency. With no other choice left, they accept the offer. Meanwhile, John’s fiancée, Radhika, played by Deepika Padukone finds out and breaks off her marriage to him. Akshay’s nephew is sent to a foster home while he returns to his college to complete the degree which he had dropped out from 12 years back.

He finds out that his new teacher, Tanya Mehra, played by Chitrangada Singh, is his former classmate who had a crush on him while in college. She teaches him Economics by taking off her clothes and drawing comparisons to love. Of course, it ends with everything falling back into place, John getting re-engaged to Deepika, Akshay getting custody over his nephew (for some reason, he is referred to as the father towards the end of the movie and I’m still trying to figure out why), finally graduating from college and falling in love with Chitrangada. If this isn’t ridiculous enough, there are moments which are supposed to be emotionally touching and also a lot of preaching about how Indian culture is superior to Western culture and how one should be forgiven for one’s mistake. No, seriously, I’m not kidding.

The movie is based in London though it makes no sense whatsoever to do so. All characters with any remote significance in the movie are Indians. The receptionist and even the director of the firm where they apply for a job is Indian.  In fact, there is a courtroom scene at the end, where proceedings are conducted in a British court in Hindi, with an Indian judge and 2 Indian lawyers. And before I forget, one of the judges was wearing a cartoon tie in court. In fact, apart from blonde girls in skimpy clothes dancing whenever a song came up to make the movie even more meaningless, there were no foreigners on screen.

The acting, very plainly put, is bad. Akshay has built up a reputation of doing loud, over-the-top, wannabe sentimental roles and he does it again. Even the young kid who plays his nephew is awful. I guess it runs in the family. John shows off his biceps well in one of the scenes, and is moronic in the rest. Deepika Padukone could have been replaced by a wall, and I honestly wouldn’t have noticed any difference. Chitrangada Singh was barely present for 10 minutes in the entire movie. Anupam Kher, as Deepika’s father does less than a commendable job.  The only saving grace is Omi Vaidya (better known as Silencer or Chatur after his performance in 3 Idiots) who adds some lustre to a dull and boring film. His character is stupid and limited, but he manages to do a fairly decent job.

With directors like Rohit Dhawan around, it isn’t surprising that Hindi movies are getting worse by the day. If the plot and acting weren’t bad enough, he decided to torture his viewers further by putting in a song every now and then. It is his first directorial venture, and I sincerely hope it’s his last.

The music is fairly decent when compared to the other aspects of the movie. Pritam manages to churn out some songs which will have you tapping your foot to it. But by no means is he at his best either, so I’m assuming that the songs are his original compositions.

The film however does have its share of pros. Apart from Omi Vaidya’s acting which I’ve mentioned before, it is just a bit more than 2 hours long. So atleast, the pain is short-lived. I shudder to think what would happen if Rohit Dhawan teamed up with Karan Johar.

Desi Boyz is not even worth a single watch, so I’d suggest not going for it. However, if you do go and enjoy the movie, do get in touch with me. I’d love to laugh at your imprudence.

  • Appumaggu

    hahahhahaha

    hilarious

  • http://www.facebook.com/ralhi Akshay Singh Ralhi

    Noticed how Anupam Kher and John Abraham smoked the joint? hahhahahahaaaahaa.

    • Rajdip

      It seems to be the in-thing these days. Every movie has a guy smoking up. It’s almost as if they want to encourage it.

      • Anonymous

        I don’t think Akshay Kumar can encourage anyone…

  • http://www.facebook.com/kaproh Rohan Kapoor

    The Chitrangada taking her clothes off to teach scene has been ripped from Adam Sandler’s Billy Madison.

    • Rajdip

      Even after getting “inspired”, it is such an epic fail. Not that I blame the director completely. The scene had Akshay Kumar in it.

  • Apoorva Gavarraju

    So, I actually went ahead and watched the movie. Stop Judging -_-
    It’s hilarious. Makes no sense at all. Cracked me up to bits. And it’s a perfect pick for someone who won’t mind paying to see a little eye candy (talking John, Deepika, Chitrangada). Also, Omi Vaidya is great =D 

    • Rajdip

      Omi Vaidya is better compared to the rest, which isn’t saying much.
      If you found this funny, then you need to develop a sense of humour.
      As for investing in eye candy, you can watch porn for free on the internet.

      • Apoorva Gavarraju

        Haha, it’s not a case of the movie being funny. It is the movie being so bad that it HAS to be funny once you get over the rot.