This, my highly unacquainted readers, is a new religion. Yea, I’m serious – it’s a religion just like Christianity, Hinduism, Islam and all the others that we know of: The Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster or FSM to be precise. Worship ‘His Noodliness’ and abide by the ‘Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.’ (Yes, something called this exists. *rolling eyes*)
This ‘kind-of recent’, illustrative and illuminating movement began as a satirical protest against the Kansas State School Board’s decision to teach “Intelligent Design” to their kids. What the hell is that? – Yea, now that’s a question you should ask. It’s about the biblical theory of creationism clashed with evolutionary theories and a bunch of quite controversial teachings.
Pastafarianism, however, is the emergence of the ‘belief’ that all existence was created by an invincible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster using his ‘noodly appendages’. (If the world could have been created by a spiritual holiness, it could have been created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster as well) All the bad things in the world are a result of the Monster’s dangerous levels of intoxication.
Some claim that this church is purely a thought experiment and satire, illustrating that ‘Intelligent Design’ is not science, but a pseudoscience manufactured by Christians to push ‘creationism’ into public schools. Believe me you, these people are mistaken. The Church of FSM is real and totally legit. Anything that comes across as humor or satire is purely coincidental.
This great and almighty ‘atheist’ religion is not discriminatory in any way. It is neither a purely atheist cult. Pastafarians welcome all kinds of people regardless of the religion they actually follow.
Code of Conduct: (Yes, they have that too. See what I meant when I said it’s real!?)
– Prayers are ended with ‘RAmen’ rather than ‘Amen’
– Pirates are ‘absolutely divine creatures’ and the original Pastafarians
– September 19 is the National Talk-like-a-pirate Day
– When Pastafarians go to heaven, they get treated with a beer volcano and a stripper factory but in hell, the beer is stale and the strippers have VD
– If you are agnostic, you will be called a ‘spagnostic’
– Every Friday is a religious holiday
– Like the great noodles we worship, we have flimsy morals
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has been criticized by the Christians but even they agree that ‘His Noodliness’ has bigger balls. Pastafarians believe that all beings should be allowed to live the way they please. After all, “purity is for drinking water, not people.”